The Lighter Way to Enjoy Culture Shock

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken"

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Location: Boone, North Carolina, United States

Sunday, March 11, 2007

The following are strictly personal views/observations and in no way reflect the views of the Peace Corp nor the federal government of the United States.

The public transportation to my village consists of three different buses and three different drivers that run at different times. Two of the buses are the same except for the pattern on the seat upholstery. Both buses have bench seats and two sets of doors, one set of doors at the front of the bus and one set at the mid point of the bus. The third bus is different; it is slightly smaller, has one set of doors and bucket seats. I personally prefer the third bus; I have always found it to be much more comfortable, until lately.

The third bus has always had a television in it, but the television did not work until recently because it was not hooked up to a VCR or DVD player. Apparently the bus driver has been saving to pimp out the bus on a developing country sized scale. Thus, he installed a DVD player and speakers to operate with the television.
Now at all hours of the day when riding this bus one has the pleasure of watching the first hour of various Russian action movies. All of which are shown with the volume at the loudest possible setting. Sometimes the action films are rotated with a Russian version of MacGyver, which involves two hulking Russians fighting turban wearers from an assortment of hot sandy countries. Until recently these had been the only two viewing options when on the bucket seat bus, but last week I got to experience the third viewing option. The third viewing option was porn.

When the bus started the driver put in a DVD like normal and all seemed copasetic until the film began playing. It started with a skinny peroxide blonde sitting on a couch in a tight leopard print dress drinking champagne, which seemed suspect yet was innocuous since most of the Romanian soap operas have a similar opening scene. It was after the scene change that things became dreadfully clear. The film’s second scene consisted of a pudgy Eastern European red head wearing only a black bra which made a rapid exit from the scene. Once the bra was gone the bouncing, caressing and moaning began, needless to say there was a large Caucasoid phallus involved. The bouncing, caressing and moaning continued practically uninterrupted for exactly 52 minutes and 36 seconds. I know because I spent the entire bus ride staring at my watch and praying for the film to end. However, no one else on the bus really seemed phased by the display on the television.

The porn blaring at 7 decibels for 52 minutes would not have been so excruciating if the passenger group hadn’t comprised any of my students, old women, or middle aged men who seemed to be moving excessively in their seats.

I did learn from this experience that Eastern European porn seems to forego the formalities of a plot line. There was no time wasted, they got straight to the point rather than leading up to it with a repairman losing his pants on the job scenario. I also found out that the traditional porn background music is apparently a universal pornography quality.