The Lighter Way to Enjoy Culture Shock

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken"

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Location: Boone, North Carolina, United States

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The following are strictly personal views/observations and in no way reflect the views of the Peace Corp nor the federal government of the United States.

Random Thoughts From Moldova

- Top Ten Luxuries for this Peace Corp Volunteer in Moldova
10. Speaking English
9. Long Underwear
8. Meat (Preferable Not Internal Organs)
7. Pasteurized Cheese
6. Pudding
5. Any Movie Not Seen 25 Times (Three Times with the Audio Commentary)
4. Normal Sized Pillow (Not Filled with Down)
3. Drinking Water that does not Result in a Wicked Case of Diarrhea
2. Hot Running Water
1. Spring Mattress

- To All Hippies: I know having a farm and living off the land is the ultimate hippie reverie, I have had similar fantasies of self sufficiency. But no more do I have that aspiration; now that I have had a little taste of farm work and being partially self sustaining, I realize that is totally a pipedream. Farm work is hard, farm work is age you long before your years hard. So to all those hippies dreaming of getting a farm up in West Virginia and not having to live your life by anyone else’s lead, I hate to urinate in your breakfast cereal, but forget it.

- I am amazed how many Peace Corp volunteers in Moldova choose to commemorate their service in Moldova by having the likeness of Stephan Cel Mare tattooed on their body. For those of you not acquainted with Stephan Cel Mare, he was the cousin of the infamous Vlad Dracul (the Romanian ruler who was the inspiration for the Bram Stoker novel Dracula). Stephan Cel Mare and Vlad Dracul shared the familial penchant for impaling sizeable portions of the populace. Although, considering the large number of monuments and street names to his credit all over Moldova, I assume the general population of Moldova has chosen to disregard Stephan Cel Mare’s less appealing qualities. Personally, to commemorate my service in Moldova I am going to have an impaled individual tattooed on my upper right thigh.

- I had always assumed, growing up in the mountains of North Carolina, that all leaves on almost all trees changed colors in the fall. I now know that was an incorrect assumption because most leaves in Moldova do not change colors. There is almost no changing of leaf color here. There are many of the same varieties of trees as we have in North Carolina however something about the climate here makes the leaves not change. What happens if leaves don’t change colors? They just turn brown after the first frost and fall off the trees, it is incredibly uneventful and has given me a renewed sense of appreciation for the brilliant colors that emerge during the fall in North Carolina. Fortunately for me, during my time in Moldova I can remember how those brilliantly colored fall trees look, because I have an image of them forever memorialized on my lower back.

- The Moldovan word for mud is ‘glod.’ Say the word once or twice. Glod. Because the mental image that word conjures makes it the perfect word for mud, no matter what your first language. For me, the word ‘glod’ has connotations of dirty, slippery, pervasive, moist dirt; which is exactly how mud in Moldova is. Here the mud is not the kind that your feet sink into. The mud here is slippery, so slippery it makes walking treacherous with an element of futility; considering, after you take three steps forward you slide back one step. It is also not feasible to go anywhere without becoming covered in mud, somehow it always finds its way onto your clothes. Glod is unquestionably my arch nemesis in Moldova.

- Moldovans and trash have an interesting relationship. Moldovans are unquestionably resourceful and without any element of waste, however it is impossible to not create any trash. But in Moldova there is not the infrastructure to have trash pickup or landfills, thus, Moldovans are forced to cope with their trash autonomously. The most popular way to dispose of trash that can not be reused is to burn it, yet, not all trash can be burned. Trash such as old deodorant sticks, toothpaste tubes, and other such things present a disposal problem. This sort of trash they throw into the outhouse. Which I must admit seems like a unique solution, one I would never have considered. Most recently disposed of in our outhouse are broken panes of glass. They replaced some cracked windows and I guess did not know what to do with the old damaged panes, thus, into the outhouse they went. Now at the bottom of the outhouse chasm is a collection of glass shards, in addition to the deodorant sticks and toothpaste tubes. Maybe they are under the impression that human waste will make this matter deteriorate more hastily.

- Apparently it is possible for people to consume the bones of animals. I had always known it was feasible to eat the bones, I had just never witnessed it nor had the personal inclination to try it. Well, now I have seen it done and I could not help but stare with my mouth agape during the whole event. This particular bone consumer’s tactic was to crack the bone with her molars, then use her canines to disassemble the bone, finally once she had gotten the bone into pieces she would suck out the marrow with an detectable slurping sound. I felt like I had suddenly been beamed into a David Lynch movie, it was surreal and slightly disconcerting.

The following are strictly personal views/observations and in no way reflect the views of the Peace Corp nor the federal government of the United States.

“You know what the funniest thing about Europe is? It’s the little differences, they got the same shit over there that they got here, its just there it’s a little different.”
- Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction

Alcohol in Moldova is the same as alcohol in America it’s just in Moldova it is a little different. Naturally, there are the usual choices of beer, wine, and liquor.

The beer selection is somewhat different than the selection of beer America. There is no American beer in Moldova. I get the impression that the flow of beer is one way, Europe to America. Europeans do not want American beer; in general, they think it is swill.

The most common selections of beer are Baltica, Chisinau, Vitanta, Tuborg, and Starry Melnick (loosely translated from the Cyrillic alphabet). My personal beer preference is Baltica, which comes in a range of zests that are labeled from 0 to 9. The numbers denote two things; the level of alcohol content and the type of beer.
Here is the breakdown:
Baltica 9 = 8 percent alcohol / dark beer
Baltica 8 = 8 percent alcohol / wheat beer / my personal favorite
Baltica 7 = 7 percent alcohol / light beer
Baltica 6 = 6 percent alcohol / very dark beer
Baltica 5 = 5 percent alcohol / light beer
Baltica 4 = 4 percent alcohol / I have never had it thus the type is unknown
Baltica 3 = 4 percent alcohol / very light beer, similar to Miller High Life, thus I suppose
it is the champagne of Balticas
Baltica 2 = 3 percent alcohol / I have never had it thus the type is unknown
Baltica 1 = 3 percent alcohol / I have never had it thus the type is unknown
Baltica 0 = non alcoholic beer / I have never had it thus the type is unknown, for me drinking a non alcoholic beer being would be like asking questions in a letter, pointless.

Beers come in larger quantities than beers in America. The standard bottle size in America is approximatively .25 liters. In Moldova you would be hard pressed to find a bottle of beer small than .5 liters.

The most popular beer in Moldova is obviously the locally brewed Chisinau. Chisinau comes in two sizes, the typical half liter bottle and a two liter plastic bottle. The size most preferred seems to be the two liter plastic bottle. There are two varieties of Chisinau, draft and blond. The Chisinau draft variety is a bit misleading because draft would imply kegs and taps however, Chisinau draft is almost never on tap. Draft just means that the label has the word draft written on it, and the bottle is green. Personally, I find the draft variety is more palatable than the blond. The blond is astoundingly similar to Bud Light. Evidently, Chisinau Blond is Bud Light’s Euro trash cousin. Chisinau blond is the variety of beer that McDonalds chooses to serve.

The other beers available in Moldova are okay, they are typical beer, nothing worth discussing in detail though.

Wine on the other hand is an in depth matter. There are three varieties of wine, red, black, and white. Most of the wine one consumes in Moldova is homemade. I have come across a few people here who drink store bought wine, but overall homemade wine is the standard; which is understandable considering that everyone makes their own wine and take great pride in their wine. So keep in mind, all my observations about wine are referencing homemade wine, unless otherwise noted.

Red wine is very similar to port, its thick and sweet. Very sweet. Black wine, is technically red in color but they call it, vin negru/black wine. I have found black wine to be very similar to the beverage served at Baptist communion but with slightly higher alcohol content. Whenever, I drink the black wine it takes me back to my childhood and I feel that it should be followed by a stale oyster cracker, and some singing. White wine is the driest of the three Moldovan wine varietals. It is rather sweet but it is the least sweet of the three.

Personally, I enjoy the wine here because I like sweet wine, thus, Moldovan wine is right up my alley. If you like that dry wine clawing sensation on your tongue, keep looking because homemade Moldovan wine is not for you.

The best deal I have found for purchasing wine is in one of the bars at the bus station in Chisinau. At this particular watering hole you can buy a liter of wine in any of the three varietals for 12 lei (about 90 cents). The wine is on tap, and if you purchase an entire liter they fill an old liter sized water bottle with the chosen type of wine. With the bottle you get one glass.

The one glass is the preferred modus operandi for wine consumption in Moldova. The glass is usually of small to medium size, the cleanliness of the glass is variable. There is one person who is designated as the glass handler and wine pourer. This chosen individual fills the glass with wine and then hands it to the person on the left, the glass is almost always passed clockwise. Every person in the circle, when they receive the glass of wine, gives a toast and then downs the entire glass of wine. Then the glass is returned to the pourer. This procedure is continued around the circle, with the pourer being the last to drink. The glass of wine continues around the group of people until all the wine is gone. The only problem I have detected with this method of wine consumption, excluding the obvious problems related sanitation, is the sense of urgency when your turn to drink arrives. Because, everyone else is waiting on you to drink so they can have their turn to drink; consequently, to sip the glass of wine slowly is considered unacceptable and comments are made if you do not drink the wine at a pace deemed acceptable by the group. Sometimes this modus operandi is also used when consuming beer, which is arduous considering that beer is carbonated, and carbonation can be quite the x factor.

The third type of alcohol is liquor. The preferred liquor drinks are cognac, brandy, and various homemade liquors. Liquor is usually only consumed on special occasions such as birthdays, weddings, christenings, the first day of school, going away parties, visits from old friends, anniversaries, etc. Often, when liquor is consumed it is imbibed in immense quantities. With liquor it is all or none. My favorite liquor is the homemade liquor that is made from sour cherries, called vişinat, it is very sweet but it burns much less than the cognac and brandy.

Every time before a person drinks, they must give a toast. It is considered quite uncouth to drink without giving a toast. The toasts depend on the occasion but the best all around, any occasion toasts are ‘Noroc’ which translates to ‘Hey,’ ‘Mulţi Ani, Mulţi Bani’ which means ‘Many Years, Much Money,’ and ‘Fiţi Sanatoşi’ which is ‘Y’all Be Healthy.’