I always thought that fasting during Ramadan, no food or drink from 6 in the morning to 7 in the evening, would result in some amount of weight loss on a nationwide scale. Incorrect!

Actually, Ramadan fasting causes a general weight gain of about 5 kilos. Because consuming nothing for more than twelve hours sends your metabolism into a tail spin and then on top of that the non-fasting hours are spent pigging out on lentil soup, lamb and flat bread.

Additionally, due to the daylight hour calorie deficit there is a decrease in physical activity. What an unpleasant way to get fat.

(In my experience, Ramadan also tends to equal general societal crotchetiness due to low blood sugar)

Circumcision is quite the ubiquitous tradition. The Christians in America prefer a quick slicing and dicing right after birth while the Jews have an entire party centered around the act of foreskin removal.

In Turkey, the Muslims choose to wait until the tender age range of six to eight years old. At this point they dress their boys in miniaturized pimp outfits, complete with hat and feather lined cape, and parade them down the street; thereby, allowing strangers to lavish the unknowing and unsuspecting boys in sympathetic looks.

The rest of the ceremony has a similar tone to a christening or a baptism, complete with the taking of pre-ceremonial family photos and consumption of finger foods, the main difference being that the splashing of some water and hair dampening is a painless, non traumatic event while circumcision….